An Open Letter to the Season 8 Houseguests
Thought I’d have a little fun with the blog post today, since I’ve got no news to report at the moment.
Every season, on every reality show, the audience watches in disbelief as the contestants make the same bonehead mistakes that have led to the demise of contestants before them. “Have you never watched this show before?” is our common refrain. So, with that in mind, here is my advice to the new batch of houseguests who will be entering the Big Brother 8 house in just a few short weeks.
Dear New Houseguests,
Before you walk into the BB house, there are a few things you need to know.
Big Brother fans are unlike any other reality TV show fans on the planet. We become addicted to the show, mostly through the live feeds and the reports of the feeds on the internet. Groups gather online to share information, links, updates, and anything we can dig up on the people inside the house. You’re in for a bumpy ride.
While you’re in the house, the following things will be true:
- The feeds are on. You are being watched by thousands of fans. Don’t ask if the feeds are running, or if the “internet” is on. They are, and it is.
- If you pick your nose, squeeze your zits in the bathroom mirror, pick at your face, or do anything else that may be construed as “gross” on a regular basis, feed watchers will pick up on it and make fun of you for it.
- Don’t think that you can do stuff behind the scenes and then blame the editing later. The live feeds are, indeed, live.
- Having a sense of humour is good.
- Constant complaining and lounging around doing nothing is not good.
- We want to be entertained. Be interesting and you’ll have fans when you leave the house.
- If someone wins the America’s Choice votes, you can assume that they’re popular.
Also, to help you prepare for the summer, start doing the following immediately:
- Get your hands on as many episodes of prior seasons as you can and watch them. Watch them again. Learn from them.
- Read as many live feed reports online as you can find. Pay special attention to Season 6, and make note of the actions of the “Friendship.” You want to avoid all of these actions.
- Learn how to cook. Memorize recipes that you can make with plain oatmeal and as few other ingredients as possible. Likewise, learn how to operate a grill without setting anyone or anything near you aflame.
- Practice your endurance. Put yourself in odd positions, hanging from poles or monkey bars or anything you can find, and stay there as long as you can. Have your friends pour ice water on you, or try to tempt you with things like pizza or money. Don’t give in.
One other piece of advice: don’t sing. When you sing, we get flames or the fish tank or whatever evil object the powers that be have chosen for this season on the feeds. We don’t enjoy that.
Have fun, and good luck!
Sincerely,
Carrie Grosvenor
What advice would you give to the new crop of houseguests? Share them in the comments section!
For more updates on Big Brother 8, check out SirLinksALot: Big Brother 8.
big brother, big brother 8, bb updates, houseguests
June 13th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Great letter. I do wonder sometimes if guests have even watched the show. Some guests come in with a plan of action and hit the floor running. They always make the summer interesting.
June 14th, 2007 at 6:55 am
One thing that the American housemates should learn from the British ones this year…
Don’t go in just for the fame. Go in and be yourself, and enjoy the experience. If fame comes as a result, then lucky you.
Shabnam is THE most blatant wannabe celebrity I have ever seen on BB. Plus she was on ‘Britains got talent’ the other day… desperate? Yes.
June 14th, 2007 at 10:29 am
Lynn - agreed! Happens every season and I’m sure it’ll happen again.
Dave - unfortunately most of the people who end up on BB are looking for their 15 minutes of fame. Lots of wannabe actors, etc. Sounds rather like your Shabnam.
June 14th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Every season I wish and hope that Big Brother will follow in the footsteps of the original BB in the UK. Alas, every season I am disappointed.
What I would like to see:
1) Contestants being FORBIDDEN to discuss voting and nominating to other contestants!
2) Give these people something to do! Wake them up at 3 am and have them do something that will earn them points or prizes or something!
3) Put in some REAL people! I’m tired of the young, beautiful contestants and would like to see some “regular” everyday people
Those are my 3 gripes….think CBS is reading or possibly listening??????
June 18th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Here’s what I think would be the best action yet - let the public be ONE vote. When it’s time for eviction, we count as one vote. When it’s time to choose a winner, we count (collectively) as one vote. What do you think??
June 18th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Kim, I agree with the real people thing completely, but so many shows are cast by agents and recruiters now it’s hard to get that point across.
Waking the HG’s up at 3am sounds like fun - they did that with the wake up calls in All Stars - but then it leads to a very dull day following the commotion and everyone ends up going to bed early. *lol*
Lynda - I’ve heard that idea floated before and I like it. It would give us at least the feeling that we had some say in the game, but not give viewers the ultimate power to evict anyone.
June 20th, 2007 at 1:13 am
Lynda - LOVE that idea! Super cool for us to have a vote. That would also add so much suspense to those times when you already “know” how everyone will vote anyways. And would also make it interesting to see how characters changed their actions to get America’s vote.
December 28th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
[...] go through the old posts, and see what appealed to me. I found the previous author’s “Open Letter to the BB8 Houseguests” post - and lo, an idea was born. Let’s see how well the BB8 Houseguests followed her [...]
June 19th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
I read this before I went into the house. I thought it was a bit more detailed though. And when I was in there, I did wish I took Carrie’s advice and memorized some oatmeal receipes.
Thanks,
EvelDick
PS you never know who might be reading what you write